Sunday, March 7, 2010

Big Boy & Lovely Weather

(Evan 12 days old)
(Evan 9 months)

I can't believe he is already 9 months old. He is so big now! He's a weird kid though. He likes to suck/chew on socks instead of a pacifier. He eats like a cow and sleeps forever. He makes the weirdest sounds I have ever heard--from high squeals to low growls. I don't know any other baby like him.
In 3 months he will be a year old. That is crazy. I can't believe so much time has passed. He is growing into a beautiful boy. Danny makes good looking kids :).
I often wonder what Evan will be like when he gets older. Will he be a quiet independent child or a energetic playful child that requires much attention? Will he be a troublemaker or a good boy? Will he play rough or be a cautious gentle child? I am so excited to see what he becomes and I know that no matter who he is I will love him and do anything I can to help him if he struggles with life, just like I would with any child.

It is nice out today. It was pretty nice out yesterday too. I hope that it is a sign of Spring coming and that it will only get nicer from now on. I'm so sick of the snow. I want to be able to go out and enjoy the weather instead of hibernating indoors. I can't wait to take the kids to the park, zoo, and other awesome places. I love Spring and Summer.


80frr gggggggggr jhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

(That was from Evan)

-Kimmy

Photo of the Day:

Friday, March 5, 2010

Pseudostrabismus

That is what the doctor said Evan has. And that means that he has nothing wrong with him at all. So NO surgery!! They still want him to go back in four months to dilate his eyes and check his vision (distance and such).
Today I have work all day. As soon as Danny comes home, I have to go in. Ew. This is going to suck royally. At least I have tomorrow off though!
I really love my husband. I mean, we have lots of little arguments, but what married couple doesn't? He is really a great man and a great father. Seriously though, I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else and I am so glad that we found each other. It was almost like fate. I am so happy that we have a little family too. I love being a step-mom and I love having my son. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I'm sure a lot of people (especially at Shaw's) think that my son was an accident or a mistake, or even that I intentionally got pregnant and then pressured Danny into marrying me. All of the above are not true. Danny and I fully planned on our son and our marriage together. There were no real surprises or misleading of each other. I think that is why we have a good relationship and why we love each other. The honesty is a relationship is so important and dishonesty is what really tears a relationship apart. I never lie to Danny about anything. He knows all of my thoughts, feelings, and intentions. I lay everything out on the table for him and I know he appreciates it, because he tells me all the time.
I think it is funny when people think that we wont last or that our child was the result of deceit. They don't know us and they couldn't imagine the love we have.
Envy is an ugly thing.

-Kimmy

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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Defense.

I'm relatively excited that I have today off. The last place I want to be today is Shaw's. That place is ridiculous.
I'm going to take this chance right now to defend myself on the things I have said about Kristina. I never said anything along the lines of "I don't like her" or anything violent/mean. In fact, I stated several times that I love her. The reason I vent here about her actions/attitude is because I DO care about her and I want her to grow up to be a happy and well-adjusted child. She already has a difficult and uncommon situation (parents that were never really together, both dating/married to another person, and now two new half-siblings). Structure and stability is what she needs. I just want her to learn to follow rules and be polite. It isn't okay for a 4-year-old to yell at her parents. She needs structure so that she can be healthier. She is always sick and now she has a cavity. We need to step up and put a little more effort into helping her eat better and improve her daily routine with us (eating, sleeping, hygiene, etc.)
So if I didn't love this kid, why would I spend so much time and effort talking about her and how I want her to become a better person?

Tomorrow I have to take Evan to see an Opthamologist because his pediatrician thinks his left eye has a central strabismus (looks inward too much; cross eyed). I'm really nervous about taking him tomorrow because if there is a problem, he might have to have surgery in his eye. That scares the shit out of me. I don't know if I can handle anymore health problems with him. It's so sad.

-Kimmy

Photo of the Day:
Kristina & Evan

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Apology


For anyone that read the post I wrote previously, please ignore what was written. I wasreally immature and mean in the things that I said. I shouldn't have written a blog when I was angry. I was just upset about the things going on with my step-daughter, husband, and the court case, but it doesn't give me the excuse to talk so badly about another person. I apologize to Billie Jean for saying the things I said about her (and her family). I was wrong and childish. I will also apologize when the next time I see Billie Jean.

-Kimmy

photo of the day:

Sunday, February 28, 2010

How to Get Your Child to Sleep in Their Own Bed

The following quotes are pulled from various articles I found via google.com:

"There are a lot of reasons that children refuse to sleep in their own bed. Comfort, separation anxiety loneliness, nightmares, etc. But if you don't break this habit early, it just gets more difficult to do so."

"Don't give in. When your child gets out of their bed, make sure their alright, reassure them, and place them back in their own bed. This can be very difficult and frustrating but by being assertive and taking control of the situation you will show your child that they need to sleep in their own bed. Don't get upset with them because they resist, instead be calm and assuring."

"In general, both sleep consultants and parents who've been there say that once you decide to start this sleep training, bed sharing needs to end entirely. No "Well, just for five minutes" or "Maybe tonight because she had a long day." That means midnight visitors get walked back to their rooms, tucked in, kissed, and left behind. No extra snuggles, no drinks of water, as many times as it takes. There will be screams and sobs, and kids so resistant you'll have to carry them, wriggling and accusing all the way, to their beds. Which they will jump out of in a split second. You will start to wonder if you will ever sleep again. You will; just maybe not tonight. Keep this up until the new rules sink in."

"Giving in to whining, crying, or tantrums will only reinforce that strategy as a way to coerce to into changing your mind any time your kids wish to influence you."

"Just remember that no matter what the reason do not let the child sleep in your bed or else they will keep finding new excuses to do this. If my child has a nightmare, I will go to their room and lay down with them until they fall asleep. When you lay in the child's bed, it is letting them know that they still have to sleep in their own bed but you will be there to comfort them when something bad happens. "

"It does not work well to tell children to sleep in their bed and then relent when they act up. This only teaches them that their persistence will be rewarded with a trip to your bed."

"Don't weaken to crying or whining. If you do, your child wins. Tell your child you are not going to keep coming in for kisses, hugs, discussion, begging, or pleading. Stick to this. If your child leaves the room, simply re-direct the child back without discussion. Show no weakness, or your child will know that this behavior results in a change."

Basically, I was right. I told Danny that she was going to throw tantrums and cry and test him to the limit. I told him that if he gave in she would always know that she can cry until he gives in. And he just gave up and blamed me. Even though less than five minutes after she was screaming and crying, she was sitting in front of the television laughing and playing with her dolls. I didn't expect her to really sleep in her own bed, it was more of an experiment/attempt. I am more disappointed that she disrespected both of us by saying mean things and throwing a violent tantrum with her father. In the end, if she has to sleep in her princess bed beside our bed then so be it. We will work it out eventually.

Seriously?

For those who were just dying to hear the result of last night's sleep experiment:

FAILURE.

Kristina acted ridiculous. I just don't get it. After an hour of trying to convince her to sleep in her own bed, Danny gave up. Whatever happened to putting your kid in bed, saying "goodnight", and walking out of the room? Apparently, he couldn't handle it and in turn got pissed at me. Because it's my fault.

So in the end, I spent another sleepless night squashed between my husband and the heater/wall. And for those of you out there who are saying "Wow, you're so mean. She's a little kid. Why can't you let her sleep with you?!" My answer to that? She is old enough to sleep in her own bed. Her little brother sleeps in there too, so its not like she is alone. We offered to leave lights on and doors open all night. We tucked her in, read her stories, gave her snacks, let her watch Nick Jr. before we brought her in. She just wants to have her way and NO ONE says "NO" to her. SIGH. We're working on it.

When I was a child, I went to bed by 8PM or when I was told because I had respect for my parents and knew that they made the rules. They tucked me in, read me a story, and I went to sleep. Why is it that parents allow their children to own them now? It is sad and I am not going to be one of those people. I love my son and I love my step-daughter, but there is no way ithat I am going to let either of them tell me what to do. With Evan, I have more control over his upbringing, but with Kristina its different. We barely see her so it is much harder to have a stable routine with her. Obviously she acts out because of the lack of time she spends with us and the less we see of her, the harder it is to help her with it.

The fact that no one can say "NO" to her isn't helping either. She is old enough to know that she can cry and throw a tantrum to manipulate people into getting what she wants. If someone doesn't change that soon, she might pull that forever. I'm afraid that she will get older and become uncontrollable. I went through that myself. My parents stopped giving me structure and tried to be my best friend. When that happened, I got everything I wanted by throwing a tantrum. I don't want to see that happen to her. It's not about her sleeping in her bed really, its about the constant attitude she has with people. I know she is going through a hard time and that she clearly misses us because we never see her, but I want to find the root of the problems with her and help her.

-Kimmy

Photo of The Day:



Friday, February 26, 2010

First Post!

So I gave in and created a blog. Hopefully I will actually keep up with it and, hopefully, someone out there will actually read it.
Right now, Evan is down for his nap and I am still in my pajamas. This weekend is our weekend with Kristina, my step-daughter. It is also the first weekend that we are trying to have her sleep in her own bed in her own room. She is four-years-old and we think it is about time she stops sleeping with us. Up until now when she stays over she is awake until 10:00pm (or even later) because she wont go to bed unless she is in bed with us watching Nick Jr. It just isn't healthy for her to stay up that late and its uncomfortable for all of us. I finally put my foot down with my husband and said "This has to stop and we need to try to fix it". It wont be fair in a few months when Evan wants to sleep with us too and we tell him "No." I refuse to have two kids in my bed this summer!
Although I am happy to have our bed back, I am not looking forward to the ordeal that will come with getting her to sleep in her own bedroom. She is definitely one for throwing tantrums (as most kids do). I am truly hoping that when I get home from work tomorrow night and she has to go to bed that maybe, just maybe, she will behave and not start screaming and crying. Here's to wishful thinking!

-Kimmy

Photo of the day: